I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary
for the following reasons:
I do physical labor, I work at great depths
and I plunge head first into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off
and I do not get paid overtime.
I work in a damp and dark environment that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures and my work exposes me
to contagious diseases.
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Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments
you have raised, the administration rejects your request
for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You're unable to work double shifts.
You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your allocated position and often visit other areas.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated
in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations,
such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have
completed the day's work.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering
and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.
Sincerely,
The Management
for the following reasons:
I do physical labor, I work at great depths
and I plunge head first into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off
and I do not get paid overtime.
I work in a damp and dark environment that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures and my work exposes me
to contagious diseases.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments
you have raised, the administration rejects your request
for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You're unable to work double shifts.
You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your allocated position and often visit other areas.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated
in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations,
such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have
completed the day's work.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering
and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.
Sincerely,
The Management
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