Dear Son,
I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast.
We don't live where we did when you left home. Your Dad
read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within
20 miles of your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send
you the address because the last Arkansas family that lived
here took the house numbers when they moved so they
wouldn't have to change their address.This place is really nice.
It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well,
though. Last week I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain.
We haven't seen them since. The weather isn't bad here. It only
rained twice last week, the first time for three days and the
second time for four days. About that coat you wanted me to
send, your Uncle Billy Bob said it would be too heavy to send in
the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in
the pockets. Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday.
We were really worried because it took him two hours to get
me and your father out. Your sister had a baby this morning,
but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you are
an aunt or uncle. The baby looks just like your brother.
Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men
tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned.
We had him cremated, he burned for three days. Three of your
friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Butch was driving.
He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two
friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't
get the tailgate down. There isn't much more news at this time.
Nothing much out of the normal has happened.
Your Favorite Aunt,
Mom
I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast.
We don't live where we did when you left home. Your Dad
read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within
20 miles of your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send
you the address because the last Arkansas family that lived
here took the house numbers when they moved so they
wouldn't have to change their address.This place is really nice.
It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well,
though. Last week I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain.
We haven't seen them since. The weather isn't bad here. It only
rained twice last week, the first time for three days and the
second time for four days. About that coat you wanted me to
send, your Uncle Billy Bob said it would be too heavy to send in
the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in
the pockets. Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday.
We were really worried because it took him two hours to get
me and your father out. Your sister had a baby this morning,
but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you are
an aunt or uncle. The baby looks just like your brother.
Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men
tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned.
We had him cremated, he burned for three days. Three of your
friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Butch was driving.
He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two
friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't
get the tailgate down. There isn't much more news at this time.
Nothing much out of the normal has happened.
Your Favorite Aunt,
Mom
![[rofl]](/images/smilies/icon_smile_rofl.gif "ROFL [rofl]"){kind=icon}
