[read] SUGGESTED COPY FOR THE PRESIDENT'S SPEECH SOMETIME DOWN THE LINE....
My fellow Americans:
As you all know, the defeat of Iraq's regime has been completed.
The discovery and destruction of all weapons of mass destruction have
been covered thoroughly in the press. A new Iraqi government has
been established and appears to be stable.
Our mission in Iraq is complete.
This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American
forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days.
It is now time to begin the reckoning.
Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries
which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short.
The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia and Poland are some
of the countries listed there. Some countries quietly helped us and they
can now be revealed ... they are on the list too.
The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's
nations are on that list.
My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.
Let me start by saying that effective immediately, all foreign aid to those
nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved
during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.
The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world
hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.
Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.
In the out years, together with Congress, I will work to re-direct this
money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.
I am ordering the immediate withdrawal of all US forces from Kuwait,
Saudi Arabia, and most other Middle Eastern nations. For those not
on List 1, leave us alone. Solve your own damn problems. Need help?
Call Germany.
On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt
you down and eliminate you and all your relatives from the face of the earth.
Thirsting for a country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.
Regarding the nation of Israel, I have this to say. It seems like everybody
has forgotten what happened to European Jewry during the 1930s and
World War II. Our nation will never permit the destruction of Israel.
No way, Jose'. Nevertheless, to Israel and the Palestinian Authority:
Yo, boys - Yank yer heads outta the dark place and work out a peace deal.
Just note that Camp David is now closed.
I'm ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with
France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades.
We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many U.N.
diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan, with more than two unpaid tickets,
to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't
give a damn about whatever treaty pertains to this. Pay your tickets tomorrow
or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some
of the finest chop shops in the world.
The U.N. will be given 365 days to relocate to another country. The U.S.
will hereafter pay its financial assessment based on a pro-rata share by
population. Perhaps this will encourage family planning in many of the
countries on list 2.
A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are going
to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not
pissing us off for a change.
Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government
really need an attitude adjustment. I have a couple extra tank and infantry
divisions sitting around. Guess where I'm gonna put 'em? Yep, border security.
We will immediately institute a program of 'qualified' immigration and return the
unacceptable applicants and all current illegal immigrants to their home countries.
So start doing something with your oil. Oh, the United States is abrogating the
NAFTA treaty---starting now.
It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will
accuse us of xenophobia. My response is simple and direct: if you can play that
word in Scrabble, do it as soon as your turn comes around. It is not a perfect
world but we will work towards it at home from now on. Some will accuse us of
isolationism. I answer them by saying darn tootin'. Nearly a century of trying to
help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying
enmity of just about everyone on the planet.
It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness
in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup soccer from America.
We will develop energy independence. We will restructure our nation for its
isolationist destiny.
I will be sending legislation to Congress tomorrow proposing the first actions that
that august body should take as we move in a new direction.
Finally, I have to run for a second term of office. After that the First Lady and I will
retire to our Texas ranch and have some fun. Laura and I have been talking about
takin' one of those cruises up to Alaska. Personally, I couldn't care less who gets
elected in 2008. Throw a little fascism into the mix and elect Senator Clinton.
She can appoint the editorial board of the New York Times to her Cabinet.
To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Drop dead.
To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you.
God bless America.
Thank you and good night.
Regards,
George W Bush
My fellow Americans:
As you all know, the defeat of Iraq's regime has been completed.
The discovery and destruction of all weapons of mass destruction have
been covered thoroughly in the press. A new Iraqi government has
been established and appears to be stable.
Our mission in Iraq is complete.
This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American
forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days.
It is now time to begin the reckoning.
Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries
which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short.
The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia and Poland are some
of the countries listed there. Some countries quietly helped us and they
can now be revealed ... they are on the list too.
The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's
nations are on that list.
My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.
Let me start by saying that effective immediately, all foreign aid to those
nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved
during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.
The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world
hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.
Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.
In the out years, together with Congress, I will work to re-direct this
money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.
I am ordering the immediate withdrawal of all US forces from Kuwait,
Saudi Arabia, and most other Middle Eastern nations. For those not
on List 1, leave us alone. Solve your own damn problems. Need help?
Call Germany.
On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt
you down and eliminate you and all your relatives from the face of the earth.
Thirsting for a country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.
Regarding the nation of Israel, I have this to say. It seems like everybody
has forgotten what happened to European Jewry during the 1930s and
World War II. Our nation will never permit the destruction of Israel.
No way, Jose'. Nevertheless, to Israel and the Palestinian Authority:
Yo, boys - Yank yer heads outta the dark place and work out a peace deal.
Just note that Camp David is now closed.
I'm ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with
France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades.
We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many U.N.
diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan, with more than two unpaid tickets,
to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't
give a damn about whatever treaty pertains to this. Pay your tickets tomorrow
or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some
of the finest chop shops in the world.
The U.N. will be given 365 days to relocate to another country. The U.S.
will hereafter pay its financial assessment based on a pro-rata share by
population. Perhaps this will encourage family planning in many of the
countries on list 2.
A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are going
to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not
pissing us off for a change.
Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government
really need an attitude adjustment. I have a couple extra tank and infantry
divisions sitting around. Guess where I'm gonna put 'em? Yep, border security.
We will immediately institute a program of 'qualified' immigration and return the
unacceptable applicants and all current illegal immigrants to their home countries.
So start doing something with your oil. Oh, the United States is abrogating the
NAFTA treaty---starting now.
It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will
accuse us of xenophobia. My response is simple and direct: if you can play that
word in Scrabble, do it as soon as your turn comes around. It is not a perfect
world but we will work towards it at home from now on. Some will accuse us of
isolationism. I answer them by saying darn tootin'. Nearly a century of trying to
help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying
enmity of just about everyone on the planet.
It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness
in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup soccer from America.
We will develop energy independence. We will restructure our nation for its
isolationist destiny.
I will be sending legislation to Congress tomorrow proposing the first actions that
that august body should take as we move in a new direction.
Finally, I have to run for a second term of office. After that the First Lady and I will
retire to our Texas ranch and have some fun. Laura and I have been talking about
takin' one of those cruises up to Alaska. Personally, I couldn't care less who gets
elected in 2008. Throw a little fascism into the mix and elect Senator Clinton.
She can appoint the editorial board of the New York Times to her Cabinet.
To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Drop dead.
To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you.
God bless America.
Thank you and good night.
Regards,
George W Bush
