CHEERS! - Short Laughs

[CosmosBlack]

Legs is the word of the day.
Let's go over to my house and spread the word.


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So the other day, my friends and I went to this "Gentlemans' Club."
One of my buddies wanted to impress us, so he pulls out a $10 bill.
The "dancer" came over to us, and my friend licked the $10 and
put it on her butt. Not to be outdone, my other friend pulls out a
$50 bill. He calls the girl back over, licks the $50, and puts it on her
other cheek. Now the attention is focused on me. What could I do
to top that? I got my wallet out, thought for a minute.....
then the banker in me took over. I got out my ATM card,
swiped it down her crack, grabbed the 60 bucks, and went home!


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Tarzan has been living alone in his jungle kingdom for 30 years
with only apes for company, and suitably shaped holes in trees
for sex. Jane, a reporter, came to Africa in search of this legendary
figure. Deep in the wilds she came to a clearing and discovered
Tarzan vigorously thrusting into a jungle oak. She watched in awe
for a while and finally, overcome by this display of animal passion,
went out into the open and offered herself to him. As she reclined
on the wild grass, Tarzan ran up to her and gave her a big kick in
the crotch. In pain she screamed "What the hell did you do that for?"
Tarzan replied, "Always check for Squirrels."


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Mr. Perkins, the biology instructor at a posh suburban girl's
junior college, said during class, "Miss Smythe, would you
please name the organ of the human body, which under the
appropriate conditions, expands to six times its normal size,
and define the conditions."

Miss Smythe gasped, then said coldly, "Mr. Perkins, I don't
think that is a proper question to ask me. I assure you my
parents will hear of this." With that she sat down red-faced.

Unperturbed, Mr. Perkins called on Miss Johnson and
asked the same question.

Miss Johnson, with composure, replied,
"The pupil of the eye, in dim light."

"Correct," said Mr. Perkins. "And now, Miss Smythe,
I have three things to say to you.

"One, you have not studied your lesson.
Two, you have a dirty mind.
And three, you will some day be faced with a
dreadful disappointment."


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Conscience is what hurts
when everything else feels so good.

 

[Spidey]

 

[MyHarley]

gracious me...........