The Continuing Saga of "The Wife meets SMG"

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ThinkingBMW

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For those who may have read my earlier posts concerning SMG for a driver who is unfamiliar (and appearantly intimidated) by clutches...

http://www.bmwboard.com/forum/showthread.php?t=5681

....here's an update:

Though the M3 with SMG is only 2 weeks old, I can report that The Wife still doesn't get it. I had my Boxster S (with manual) in for service yesterday and received a (regular) Boxster with a Triptronic transmission as a loaner. I let The Wife drive it all day and she loved it and thought it was in many ways "better" than the M3! This is a major source of frustration for me because I want to introduce her to the additional driving dimension that can only be gained from the control of a manual transmission. And the SMG is the closest you can get without having to worry about working a clutch.

So far, the advice I received from this group on this issue is spot on: just get her a steptronic. Forgive me, but I just couldn't justify spending $$$$$ for a high-performance car with an automatic transmission. I'm just hoping that, with more familiarity, The Wife will understand what driving a real car is all about. I've driven the M3 as much as possible in the same timeframe and love it! It has some glitches, but it definately delivers a real "sports car" driving experience.

It's an interesting experiment to introduce an automatic-hardened driver to an alternative like SMG. If anyone else in this forum has gone through a similar transition, I'd be anxious to hear about your experiences.
 
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salvo said:
Im not married...but even I know that this is a bad idea...its your hobby/interest, not hers....good luck though!
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Actually I would have preferred to buy her a hybrid, like a Prius. Tried for years to talk her into it. Then tried to talk her into a Lexus, Mercedes, or something else that is best matched with an automatic. But she wanted a "sports car." And I, like most car enthusiasts, am of the opinion that there is no such thing as a "sports car" with an automatic transmission. Sorry, but I just couldn't stomach the idea of buying her a Porsche with a triptronic. So my thinking was/is that the closest anyone who can't drive a stick can get to driving a sports car would be an SMG. That makes the M3 with SMGII the obvious choice. If I was buying the car just for me, I probably would have gone with a manual.

Granted this is all theory and the jury is still out on whether she'll learn to appreciate the SMG. I have a high opinion of her and still have hopes that she will learn to master it with more experience. The good news is that she loves everything else about the car... the looks, the power, the conveniences, etc..
 
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Okay, this brings up another question: Does anyone know of a good school or private teacher in the Bay Area who can teach a shift-phobic driver how to drive a car with a manual transmission? (We're talking about a real challenge here...)

I would love it if The Wife could learn to drive The Boxster (it's pretty sweet).
 
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Don't do it, you will regret it. It is your thing, go with it, but don't make her do something that intimidates her, she will resent you for it in the long run even if she learns how to drive it. It will be her doing what you want not what she wants. If its her idea to learn, thats another issue and then I'd say go for it. I wanted to learn how to drive stick, that was a long time ago on 4 wheel drive trips, I always envisioned someone breaking a leg and not being able to get home, thats necessity, plus I knew I would end up with a car like my M one day and had to get some practice in early!
 
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You may have a point...if its not related to you, its easier to learn. I learned on my husbands jeep, a 56 Willys, and you had to double clutch. He left it for me after 2 lessons to drive to work at 4 a.m. Not a happy camper then, but I do appreciate it. Would have been better if someone I didn't know taught me. Its that hurt feelings thing and disappointing the other half.
 
daihard

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ThinkingBMW said:
Okay, this brings up another question: Does anyone know of a good school or private teacher in the Bay Area who can teach a shift-phobic driver how to drive a car with a manual transmission? (We're talking about a real challenge here...)
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You could consider SMGII an automatic transmission, much like the EPA and the Japanese DMV do. ;) No intention to begin a flame war...

Seriously, though, can you just let her use one of the "automatic" modes? It may not be as smooth as a torque-converter, but I'm sure she'd rather use it than have to learn how to play with the paddles all the time.
 
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daihard said:
You could consider SMGII an automatic transmission, much like the EPA and the Japanese DMV do. ;) No intention to begin a flame war...

Seriously, though, can you just let her use one of the "automatic" modes? It may not be as smooth as a torque-converter, but I'm sure she'd rather use it than have to learn how to play with the paddles all the time.
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She *is* using it in automatic mode. But one of the many joys in driving a sports car is control over the gears! I want to share that with her. Is that being selfish?

Geeez...now I'm on the defensive..... [nutkick]

I understand where the rest of you are coming from, but I'm not a control-freak car nut. (Ok, I'm a little bit of a car nut and I love having control over the car.) But my wife *wants* to learn how to drive a sports car and has tried *very hard* over the years to learn to work a clutch. At least with the SMG, she can focus on shifting gears and not have to worry about working the clutch.

Anyway, I thought progress reports on how two drivers with very different backgrounds adapt to SMG would be of interest in the forum. I'm trying to share information and how these two people adapt to a transmission that neither (and probably most of you) has had any experience with. So far I love it, but there are glitches with either my technique or the technology -- maybe a little of both. I'm reserving judgement on that. My wife is less comfortable with experimenting with a $60K car and wants to progress at her own pace.

End of story after two weeks. So, I'll shut up until I have more information (good or bad) to share on how we both adapt to the SMG.
 
daihard

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ThinkingBMW said:
She *is* using it in automatic mode. But one of the many joys in driving a sports car is control over the gears! I want to share that with her. Is that being selfish?
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You may have read too much into my reply. I didn't mean to tell you whether or not your desire was selfish. I just assumed she was having a hard time learning how to shift SMGII and wanted to offer some possible alternatives. If she didn't want to learn SMG to begin with, I'm sure she would have told you so.

Hope she can find a way to make the learning curve smoother. [thumb]
 
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ThinkingBMW

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daihard said:
You may have read too much into my reply. I didn't mean to tell you whether or not your desire was selfish. I just assumed she was having a hard time learning how to shift SMGII and wanted to offer some possible alternatives. If she didn't want to learn SMG to begin with, I'm sure she would have told you so.

Hope she can find a way to make the learning curve smoother. [thumb]
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Sorry Dailhard, I was actually replying to the previous posts on that point. I didn't mean to make it sound like I was singling you out on that.
 
bahnstormer

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the new toyota mr2 is coming out with its own paddle shifted tranny.
not even close to the m3's performance, but it IS a sporty car and the
wifey might like to drive that around town...convertable...easy to park
nimble...and it has paddle shifters =]
 
daihard

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bahnstormer said:
the new toyota mr2 is coming out with its own paddle shifted tranny. not even close to the m3's performance, but it IS a sporty car and the
wifey might like to drive that around town...convertable...easy to park
nimble...and it has paddle shifters =]
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Is it an automatic transmission with manual-like shifter/paddles, though? I know a friend who's got a Solara Coupe with a tranny like that (except it doesn't have paddles). I'm not here to bash it... I'm just curious.
 
BTM3

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smg - my girl's opinion

i actually just posted a lengthy post under the smg vs. 6 speed thread.

but, my story regarding my experience is this.

my girl didn't understand initially why i had to have the ///M over a regular 3 when i bought it. i'd previously had a 328is, 325is and an M3 6 speed (totalled). when i got my current one, i wanted all bells and whistles... i explained smg and what it was and how it works... she gave me the same thing i get from everyone... its a tip/step... NO!! i explained that its a clutch but no clutch pedal.. it shifts faster than mere mortal humans can, it has an automatic option that drives similar to an automatic, is fully adjustable (s-modes) and lastly its just f'n cool!!!
she didn't get it at first and not completely sure she does at this point still, but i've heard her explain smg to other people and its funny.... she sounds like she knows what she's talking about... believe me... she's heard me babble on and on for hours about why M cars are not just everyday 3 series... there are signifcant differences as to why they can cost close to double what a base 3 series starts at....
last time we had one of her friends in the car with us who happened to know what M3's were and that she wanted one.. but asked me why i would get an automatic instead of the stick? as i was about to retort with my standard its not an auto speech - my girl very matter of factly jumped in and proceeded to school her in the ways of M and SMG!! it was great!!! she told her how its just like the F1 gearboxes and never to be confused with a mere auto... because why would one buy an automatic transmission for such a thoroughbred.. i was proud of her.. not only because she actually listened to me but because she was supporting me and the car... she also explained the benefits of how adjustable it is and that she likes it because she can put it in what i like to call "granny" mode and start off in 2nd and drive around without it jerking her around.

she still thinks its a little impractical.... but when i told her that i was deciding between the M or a 911... 4 seats and a regular trunk did make a lot more sense and justified the purchase....

overall, she never drives the thing really anyway... she's kind of intimidated by her - "the ride is too harsh!!" - "its too jerky when you shift" plus because of the cost of the car she's worried about hitting something or someone dinging her... but, i'll tell you what... she even told me that she loves when we go crusing around or out to somewhere fancy because of the looks she gets, she always says its the car (being modest) but she definitely loves the attention as she says its much more noticable than when she's driving in her Honda Accord.
 
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BTM3 said:
i actually just posted a lengthy post under the smg vs. 6 speed thread.

but, my story regarding my experience is this. ...
.
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That's great! She sounds like a keeper. [thumb]

As for your girl's obervations in your last paragraph, I've observed that it's much nicer to be a driver than a passenger in an M3. My daughter, who so far has ridden mostly in the back seat, hates the car. She says it's too noisey, too harsh, and too jerky.

The M3 is no-compromise sports car that looks like a plush ride. I think if the M3 looked more like a Lamborghini, passengers would be more prepared and appreciative of the experience.
 
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