Your fav nursery rhymes... with a twist!

[codex57]

Mary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides
and every time that Mary walked
the boys could see her Thighs.

Mary had another skirt
that was split right up the front
and every time that Mary walked
the boys could see her....
..well, she didn't wear that one very often

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Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
her knickers all tattered and torn.
It wasn't the spider that sat down beside her
But Little Boy Blue with the horn.

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Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,
What have you got there?
Said the Pieman unto Simon,
Pies, you dickhead.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings horses and all the kings men,
said "Fcuk him, He's only an egg.

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Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up it's ass
and turned it's wool to nylon

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Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too, cause he was gay.

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Little Boy Blew.
Hey. He needed the money.

 

[VANCE]

Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.

HAHAHAHA

 

[cea]

Don't steal Dice's bit

 

[codex57]

Here's a couple more I found:

Jack and Jill went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water.
Jill forgot to take the pill
and now they have a daughter.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill
Each with a buck and a quarter
Jill came down with two and a half
They didn't go up for water.

 

[Spidey]

Good ones.

Ok, here's my contribution...

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana,
Jack got high, unzipped his fly, and Jill said I don't wanna. [fake]

 

[junglestylz]

Little miss muffet, sat on a tuffet,
eating her curds and whey.
Along came a spider that sat down beside her,
and said "what's in the bowl b!tch¿"