I need your help everyone its a girl relationship problem... I have to post it here..
- Thread starter jcz1987
- Start date
I didnt go to college, i did my time in the military but i have to say the ages of 18-23 were some of the best. Getting away from home and seeing all of that OTHER woman flesh running around out there was GREAAATTT....!(Sorry MyHarley....male testoterone speaking there...LOL). I speak from experience to when i say DONT, DONT, DONT always be the nice guy....you must, must show some cahones to a female sometime or else they will never truly respect your manhood. No offense to our female members but they will not see it like that or even recognize what they are doing but on a subconscious level it is occuring. I used to be one of those so-called nice guys. And it wasnt until i started being nonchalant at certain select times did things change. Now dont get it wrong, I am not saying be a straight up asshole to females cause that isnt right. But there is a delicate balance that comes with interactions with females...a little sugar and little vinegar goes a looooong way.
I would have given her the pictures too...and then "nonchalantly" left her alone. Let her make the first move now and definitely dont let her see you sweat or CRY...jeez! Crying or whining has never, ever worked and i think most of us older guys can attest to that.
I would have given her the pictures too...and then "nonchalantly" left her alone. Let her make the first move now and definitely dont let her see you sweat or CRY...jeez! Crying or whining has never, ever worked and i think most of us older guys can attest to that.
![[rofl]](/images/smilies/icon_smile_rofl.gif "ROFL [rofl]"){kind=icon}
Yeah, that's true. Maybe we should fight back and be like "Listen bish, we're gonna do what I wanna do, and if you have a problem with that, I'm gonna kick your ass !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I mean that's prob the only reason why we let them get away with it...because even when they're being mad annoying, at least we know we can always kick their ass............
I mean that's prob the only reason why we let them get away with it...because even when they're being mad annoying, at least we know we can always kick their ass............
![[:D]](/images/smilies/biggrin.png "Big Grin [:D]")
Well.... Heres the Update.... Her friend that first was upset has forgien me and we talk now... her friend continues to call me and say whats up and see how life is... But I have not talked to her about the girl I have feelings for.... So far I have avoided her in many ways.... Friday night I went to a high play and she was there with some other friends of hers and I went there by myself with my camera to take night action shots.... I was there by myself and it did hurt inside to go there that night. But now I hear that there is drama between her and her friends. But still I havent talked to her... Valentines Day is coming up and I have decide to get her something... A card with a CD of pictures of her to put on her website(myspace)..... well and maybe a little candy.... like those cheap ass sweethearts candy on the card... thats all and tap it on her locker early in the morning so when she comes she'll see it. What do you guys think? Plus Im giving nicer stuff to other girls as good friends I have known for a while so that should make her think a little bit? Maybe jealous and she'll start talking to me again? well... lets see...
No gifts for Valentine's day - NO MORE pictures of her (I can guarantee that she's gonna think it's weird how you keep giving her pictures of herself), and especially no gifts that you have taped to her locker so that everyone else can see them. It'll make it seem like you are pining over her (which you are, but you don't need to make it more obvious than you already have). Don't do anything that is going to make yourself the topic of less than favorable conversation between her and her friends on Valentine's day. Giving her stuff for Valentine's day (especially more pictures of her) is just going to create an uncomfortable situation for her. I can tell you that if you create an uncomfortable situation and then stick her into it when she's around her friends, she is going to relieve that tension by making fun of you. And that obviously is not good.
Dude, just lay low. Seriously.
Dude, just lay low. Seriously.
One of my good friends in high school was always having problems like this because he actively pursued relationships with a few of the girls in our class. I can tell you that none of those relationships worked out and just resulted in him getting frustrated and hurt. I stayed away from this stuff in high school simply because I didn't want the frustration. Believe me when I say that this stuff is much easier in college. I started a relationship with a girl the summer after my sophomore year in college and it was easy in comparison to this high school crap. I didn't try to actively go after her and give her gifts and crap to try to win her over - I tried to just be cool and collected and let things go as they might. We went out to dinner, went to movies, and simply just spent time around each other in class and after class (it helped that we were both chemistry majors, so we had similar schedules). Nothing more. We didn't spend our time trying to impress each other. Hell, for one of our first few dates, I took her to the redneck local dragway and dragraced my Camaro all night - she was/is by no means a car person, and she spent most of the night by herself sitting in the stands with the drunk rednecks. We just used our time together to focus on learning about each other and what made each of us tick. It worked out great. There was very little heartache, very few self-directed questions about whether or not I was doing the right thing for the relationship, etc. During this time, we naturally formed a very strong relationship without a whole hell of a lot of effort. The basis of our relationship has been strong enough to withstand living 10.5 hours apart from each other for the past 2 3/4 years while I attend medical school and she attends optometry school, seeing each other only a few times a year. I will have been with her for 5 years this coming June, and we have been engaged for 14 months now. Things just work better if the two people in the relationship are just their natural selves without all the extra crap you are dealing with. Period.
What I'm trying to say is that if it doesn't work out with her, don't sweat it. It's a high school romance, and from my personal experience, high school romances suck. Only in very rare cases are high school relationships built to last. My advice to you is to not worry so much about her, focus on your schoolwork, get into a good college, and just be yourself in college. Relationships seem to be much easier to handle and cultivate in college.
What I'm trying to say is that if it doesn't work out with her, don't sweat it. It's a high school romance, and from my personal experience, high school romances suck. Only in very rare cases are high school relationships built to last. My advice to you is to not worry so much about her, focus on your schoolwork, get into a good college, and just be yourself in college. Relationships seem to be much easier to handle and cultivate in college.
Dude, you were once addicted to her ass, couldn't live w/o it and now you want to kick the same ass. ![[?|]](/images/smilies/icon_smile_banghead.gif "Bang Head [?|]")
You made me laugh. But it is true though. What we all get is a package called "LOVE".
"To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as the positive - to grief, sorrow, and disappointment as well as to joy, fulfillment, and an intensity of consciousness we did not know was possible before." -- Rollo May
The more you love her, the more you hate her when she did not do what you expected and it would get worst when spices like argument and conflicts added on top of it.
A couple is a team of 2, just like the team you belongs to at work. Happy when sharing the same goals and walking in the same pace. However, sometimes one can't walk as fast as the other. This is where communication is needed in between taking turns of taking good care of one anothers. A truely mature adult will understand his/her emotions and not acting on the impulses, cos frustration wouldn't get him/her anywhere. Reach down to the heart and know what you want. Express feelings and speak up for yourself assertively and respect that the other have the rights to feel what they feel and have their own point of views. Consider the best resolution for the situation. Compromise if needed. If things turn ugly, time-out is good for both of you. A lot of time the team or group just don't know there are other options out there.
If winning the argument is the purpose, you just want to nail him/her down and make her a loser. If you have joy in making the others a loser, victimizing the others, you definitely need some professional help.
I think Justin is doing a great job starting from the beginning. He knew what he want, love with his whole heart, express his feelings and speak up assertively, and respect her having the rights to feel what she feel and own point of views. He is a lot braver than most of the people out there. He is certainly a good role model.![[thumb]](/images/smilies/icon_smile_thumb.gif "Thumbs Up [thumb]")
You made me laugh. But it is true though. What we all get is a package called "LOVE"."To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as the positive - to grief, sorrow, and disappointment as well as to joy, fulfillment, and an intensity of consciousness we did not know was possible before." -- Rollo May
The more you love her, the more you hate her when she did not do what you expected and it would get worst when spices like argument and conflicts added on top of it.
A couple is a team of 2, just like the team you belongs to at work. Happy when sharing the same goals and walking in the same pace. However, sometimes one can't walk as fast as the other. This is where communication is needed in between taking turns of taking good care of one anothers. A truely mature adult will understand his/her emotions and not acting on the impulses, cos frustration wouldn't get him/her anywhere. Reach down to the heart and know what you want. Express feelings and speak up for yourself assertively and respect that the other have the rights to feel what they feel and have their own point of views. Consider the best resolution for the situation. Compromise if needed. If things turn ugly, time-out is good for both of you. A lot of time the team or group just don't know there are other options out there.
If winning the argument is the purpose, you just want to nail him/her down and make her a loser. If you have joy in making the others a loser, victimizing the others, you definitely need some professional help.
I think Justin is doing a great job starting from the beginning. He knew what he want, love with his whole heart, express his feelings and speak up assertively, and respect her having the rights to feel what she feel and own point of views. He is a lot braver than most of the people out there. He is certainly a good role model.
^ I want to say thanks for psoting that! It made me feel soo much better thanks!! Well heres the update... she texted me online today and we talked... she thought I was angry and she though I hated her... her friends and her seem to be over it but Im not sure if she still ahs feelings for me... I'm still thinking giving her hte card and the Cd in the pink Envelope on her locker since she and I are the first people always at school since we start our classes at 6:30... I wil lget to her locker at 6:15 to put it on there... I am hanging out with her friend tomorrow but I will not try to talk about her that much with ehr friend... I will make it sound casual rather than being obsessive... well see how things go now...
I know that what's going on is eating you up, making you mad crazy nuts bonkers, but Justin is right. Pursuing her is not likely to do any good, and will probably lead to more grief. You're trying to predict how you can change/manipulate her affections, and from everything you've said so far, you're in a completely unpredictable situation. Winning someone's affection by manipulation usually leads to more manipulation by both people, and that's bad in the long run.
High school romances can survive, but it's uncommon. My wife and I started dating when I was a senior in high school, and although we split a few times in college, we always found out that other relationships didn't work. We never had to win or manipulate each other's affection through gifts or jealousy, it was just there naturally.
Remember this - you can't easily make someone LIKE you, but you can very easily make someone DISLIKE you.
High school romances can survive, but it's uncommon. My wife and I started dating when I was a senior in high school, and although we split a few times in college, we always found out that other relationships didn't work. We never had to win or manipulate each other's affection through gifts or jealousy, it was just there naturally.
Remember this - you can't easily make someone LIKE you, but you can very easily make someone DISLIKE you.